It Is Not Always Love & Light

Love & light are powerful forces in our world. They are beautiful & they are the strength that carries us forward every single day. Love & light are a connective energy that bring us all together. We all experience each of them & we all yearn for more. Love & light. We all need more of it, right?

Yes. And.

We also need hate & darkness. Yes. Hate & darkness are just as important as love & light.

Without the lows of hate & darkness, we cannot fully experience the highs of love & light. Without going through the shadow work & sifting through what is hard, we cannot grow & we cannot obtain pure love & light.

But, that is difficult. We have this tendency as humans to want to stay in the love & light.

This is called spiritual bypassing.

Spiritual bypassing is defined as “a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks,” according to Wikipedia. It’s when we feel the urge to stay in high vibe only, it’s when we say things like “I’m leaving it in God’s hands…it’s beyond my control,” & it’s when we move on too quickly from shadow work because we think we are done & we are ready for the happy vibes again.

Ouch, right? Don’t worry. We all do it. Because going through the darkness is hard. It’s painful. It’s ugly. We see the dark sides of ourselves, we see the hate in the world, we see all the problems. We feel them & we don’t know what to do. So, we avoid them. We just want to be happy & for everything to be ok. But, it’s not always ok.

There are dark parts of ourselves that must be addressed. There are dark parts of the world that must be restored.

In order to evolve as humans & as humankind, we must face the darkness, address it, process, do the work, move through it, & then…& only then, can we move on to enjoy the light at the end! And oh, how glorious the light is once we have done the work!

In order to evolve as humans & as humankind, we must also face the hate, ask it what it reveals, forge it for good, harness it for righteous anger, move through it & then, experience the love & the beautiful outcome at the end.

Honestly, I think I began to walk down the spiritual bypass path just recently. When the Black Lives Matter movement began to really ramp up, I thought I had done the work. I knew about systemic racism, I had checked my white privilege before, I was able to see that this movement was good & that good would come out of it. So, I focused on that.

But, Sister, I had so much more work to do. I still have so much work to do.

I am beginning to realize that we will always have work to do until white supremacy is done for good.

So, what does it look like to NOT lean into spiritual bypassing & to lean in to the darkness?

It looks like asking ourself the hard questions, seeing ourself or the situation as it is, digging in, feeling it, crying, questioning, etc. It looks like taking whatever action steps we need to take, even if it’s uncomfortable. Maybe it’s having that hard conversation with a family member, maybe it’s spending money we don’t have on therapy, maybe it’s leaving something or someone behind that we don’t want to let go of, maybe it’s listening to someone who has a different opinion than us that we don’t like. It is sitting with the pain & discomfort & allowing it to stay until it is done.

Feel your feels. Lean in, Sister. Dig deep.

The energy of the world right now is intense. It is fiery. This fire can either be a fire of destruction or it can be a fire of reformation. We can use it to reform. We can use the fire for good.

And we must find community to help us do this. It can be too much. It’s hard work to do on our own. We must find a sister, a loved one, a community. Find your safe space where they can hold you accountable to doing the work, but also hold you in love & encourage you when it’s just too much.

We need one another. We are made for community.

So, what needs to be addressed in your life? What darkness or hate are you avoiding right now? What action do you need to take to work through the hardship instead of bypassing it?

I believe in you. I know you can do it. It’s hard, really hard. But, it’s so worth it. Keep up the good work! Continue in the good fight.

Love & light are with you as you walk into the hate & darkness. You are held, Sister. Don’t miss out.

If you would like to experience a safe space & community of sisters, check out the upcoming “Loving-Kindness” Virtual Yoga & Women’s Circle on June 20th!