Unmet Expectations
Expectations.
They. Are. So. Hard. To. Change.
Can I get a “Yesssss”?!
Most dissatisfaction in life comes from expectations not being met. Expectations on self, expectations on others, on circumstances, on timelines. We rehearse a script in our mind, play out our lives how we think it will go, & when it doesn’t happen…it’s just…hard.
A few weeks ago, I awoke to this gift whispered from the Divine into my mind. It said:
“If you get on a boat expecting to see only water & you also see mountains, trees, fish, rocks, & sky, you will be very disappointed. But if you get on a boat expecting to see life in all its variety, you will get that & be full of pleasure. It’s like life. We can embrace all of its variations & enjoy it if we aren’t looking for one exact purpose, one exact way.”
Wow. That really brings me peace. What about you?
Maybe it’s not so much our expectations (because we WILL have expectations), but maybe it’s the rigidity in which we make them. Maybe if we leave room for variances, we can accept the changes that come our way a little bit easier. Maybe if we leave room for mystery, we also make room for wonder.
I get it. It’s so easy to be set on your life looking one way. Our culture starts programming that in us as soon as we are born. We pick up on what our life should look like consciously & subconsciously from our family, our community, & our society at large. Because of these scripts running through our minds for years upon years, our brains actually make indentions for them. Like a path that has been walked over & over in the woods. So, it makes our minds continue on that path, makes it easier to walk it every time we think about it. This is the way to go. This is how it should look.
What expectations are you putting on your life right now?
For me, one of the biggest unmet expectations I have experienced in life has been becoming a mother. I thought getting pregnant would be so easy. I thought I would have had 3-4 kids by now (I’m older than I look, I promise). But, I’m not a mother. Infertility was a word I never would have even considered about my life. But, it came.
It was hard. I felt the pain & was stuck for a long time because it just wasn’t happening. This was the only way my life was supposed to look. After time, a shift began to happen. It was time to make a new path in the woods. It was time to reframe my expectations. It was time to embrace what I have now & not worry about the future.
Becoming aware of the present moment & embracing the variances of life taught me peace. Allowing room for unexpected plans allowed me to feel mystery, awe, & wonder. It has become exciting not knowing what lies ahead. Anything can happen!
I can sometimes feel the old wound come up again. I can sometimes feel anxious…”But, what if I never have kids? What if Jonathan & I never are able to experience raising a child together?” And then. I breathe in.
This. Here. This moment. This breath.
This is good.
Life is good. I have my home. I have my family. I have my cats. I have strong sisters surrounding me. I am growing, I am expanding, I experience love, joy, sadness, & life in all of its forms. Now is good. I do not need to worry about then.
Focusing on the now grounds me & reminds me how good life is. Speaking gratitude for what I love in the now invokes peace in me. What about you? Can you begin to embrace the now & remind yourself that change is good? Are you allowing for a shift to take place?
If you are ready to explore this idea further with like-minded sisters surrounding you & supporting you, check out next week’s virtual Circle here:
www.womxninthepines.com/beherenow
You are seen. You are heard. You are loved.
